A ROYAL SELLOUT: Panasonic's Royal Booty

I can't seem to keep my side of the bargain and here goes another diversion from the weekly musings I promised. But with Wills and Kate approaching their second wedding anniversary -foetus in tow- who better to reignite my commitment?! Celebrating the royals may have prevented me going to Brownies as a child raised on the left but I'm damned if it gets in the way of me and some booty.

So at the risk of compromising my integrity and with the intent of avoiding writing something throughly intellectually brilliant I have assumed the position of royal dj. 

In truth, One Chocolate got in touch and asked if I would like to take part in a competition to promote Panasonic’s brand new wireless speakers, the NE Series. The task, to create a ‘Top 5′ playlist to celebrate Kate & Wills’ second wedding anniversary. 

1. Pulp - 'Common People' 
Keeping it real with common Kate. 

2. Mystery Jets - 'Half in Love With Elizabeth'
Family Affair: Kate vs. Queen & Country

3. Beyonce & Jay Z - 'Bonnie & Clyde' 

Indestructible: Will's and Kate could learn a lot from Jay and Bey - perhaps not in terms of baby names - but a dinner party must happen. 

3. Justin Bieber - 'BABYBABYBABY'...

Heirs & Graces: Seems appropriate with a royal bun in the oven and with 848,983,349 views on youtube to date Bieber is probably the only baby who'll receive equivalent attention. 

5. Cheryl Cole 'Fight For This Love'
And finally: Lets not forget Kate hung on in there. But more importantly the Duchess is said to have donned Cheryl's famous split trousers and have been step perfect during her performance of Cheryl's 'Fight For This Love' on her hen do, so naturally we should encourage the recreation of this moment.

Also this is never inappropriate...

The Duchess of Newcastle 

UPCYCLED OPULENCE: Akleriah's 'Quedenraha' at the Queen's House Greenwich

Apologies for my absence. Naturally I have been crazy busy conquering the world and simply compassionate enough to give you reprieve from whatever chains of responsibility, guilt or lunacy that bring you here and not on any kind of "intellectual vacation". Here is a review I was asked to write for Akleriah.

On Saturday 23rd as most of us sought shelter under our duvets from the mad March snow, I was invited to attend, ‘Quedenraha’ the latest piece from performance art collective, Akleriah. Commissioned by the Queens House in the Royal Borough of Greenwich, ‘Quedenraha’ is a thirty minute, site specific performative response to the Queen’s House’s latest exhibition, ‘Alice Kettle: The Garden of England’. Curating new and existing work, artist Alice Kettle’s exhibition primarily celebrates the aesthetic of the monarchs and courtiers of the historic building (originally built in 1616 by architect Inigo Jones for Queen Anne of Denmark) and its original setting as a garden retreat.  Through the framework of their own creative aesthetic, heavily influenced by traditional handcraft and upcycling and in this instance the historical influence of courtly masques, Akleriah present a rich tapestry of dance, music and art. ‘Quedenraha’ challenges the audience’s perception of this space and the traditional understanding of gender, status and the body it upholds.

Subversion is a theme central to ‘Quedenraha’, in its careful devising traditional elements of masques are intertextually referenced and subverted. The role of the Queen is typically divided into two characters allowing for two identities to be explored, but the Queen acknowledged by the other performers and given higher status in the piece is played by a male performer. The audience is prompted to engage with the protagonist of the piece as an exploration of gender and body rather than of royal indulgence. Similarly, choreographed ensemble dance by Holasz, typically seen in traditional masques is present in moments of lively ensemble performance and then respectively subverted by Akleriah choreographer, Lenka Horakova in the division of the performers and consequently the audience’s attention. The audience of this piece is wonderfully encouraged to independently negotiate the space and elect the part of the performance they wish to engage with.  Akleriah’s work engages with postmodern principles of the de-hierarchization, they seek invited and public audiences to participate in all their work and beautifully facilitate as unconstrained an experience for the audience as possible.

Costume plays a pivotal role in ‘Quedenraha’ and is in conversation with the history of the Queen’s House and the historic botanical gardens which surround it. Akleriah’s Anna Kompaniets designed and created the costumes that were influenced by traditional Elizabethan, Tudor, Baroque and Rococo costume but created predominantly using upcycled contemporary consumer waste. The Queens and other cast members are heavily adorned with beautiful costumes handcrafted from materials such as plastic bags which effectively places the opulence of traditional courtly masques in an imagined utopian eco-conscious context. The experimental use and transformation of recyclable materials that has become intrinsic to their work provides a strong, vibrant and opulent aesthetic for the piece and facilitates a contemporary translation of traditional masque elements within ‘Quedenraha’. 

One can draw interesting parallels with the politics at play in ‘Quedenraha’ and those in the original courtly masques commissioned by its Queens. Historically Queen Anne of Denmark adorned controversial disguises whilst partaking in the masques she commissioned, even painting herself as a black queen during a performance of Ben Jonson’s ‘Masque of Blackness’. In ‘Quedenraha’ the Queens of the house provoke comparable controversy for a contemporary audience through their adornment of consumer waste.  I was intrigued by Akleriah’s affiliation of the status, beauty and opulence inherent to the spectacle of a masque with their transformation of consumer waste. Akleriah’s ‘Quedenraha’ effortlessly evokes history and art through which it beautifully seduces its audience into a reimagined world of surreal contemporary opulence at the Queen’s House. 

The performance marked the first in a series of events at the Queen’s House, Royal Museums Greenwich. The 'Garden of England' exhibition is free and runs until the 18 August.

Images via Caroline Skene 

Image via the Royal Museums of Greenwich 

"WE SAW YOUR BOOBS" SETH MACFARLANE'S OSCAR BOOB

On Sunday evening as most of us this side of the Atlantic slept with little thought to the Oscars, the 85th Academy Awards was taking place. In a theatre full of designer clad, booze laden and Botox filled stars, this year's host Seth MacFarlane performed an opening musical number that has caused uproar and divided opinion. Accompanied by the Gay Man's Chorus of Los Angeles and a troupe of male dancers, for many MacFarlane's song embodied an all male comical onslaught on a list of Hollywood's leading ladies, whom didn't seem to see the funny side(boob). But what did we expect from the Family Guy creator? The song was very much in keeping with his usual canon, designed to laugh in the face of its audience, so was he not just delivering the goods? Perhaps MacFarlane's gag was not an attack based on the actors' sex but rather their pomposity, simply the pretensions of artistic nuances, of being "naked" and "nude".  Can Hollywood simply not take a joke? 

I personally have no issue with nudity especially in relation to my own body as much of the world knows and has witnessed for itself. Nudity for me is a symptom of feeling comfortable with my body, freedom and almost too frequently a source of comedy. But it is also very much something I must narrate the discourse of. However inflected my agency over my own body is I must retain the feeling that it is mine and noone else's. Perhaps the most problematic thing with "We Saw Your Boobs" is not the joke itself but who is making it. If we strip the joke back to its bare bones, MacFarlane's opening song resembles a cheap attack on women that have strived to achieve in film by those who continue to dominate it.  The host immediately set up an uncomfortable dynamic for the ceremony that was described by writer (and Family Guy fan) Margaret Lyons as not, "an awards ceremony so much as a black-tie celebration of the straight white male gaze". Arguably in a ceremony in which 77 percent of Academy voters are male and most females in the industry bypassed, with 30 of this year's honours awarded to men and just 9 to women, equality between the sexes has not come far enough to accommodate this kind of alienating sexist humiliation. 

The choice of popular comedian Seth MacFarlane to host this year's ceremony is all part of the Academy's move towards attaining a younger audience and came with obvious risks. This is a gamble that despite the immediate outcry against MacFarlane, has seemingly paid off. The 2013 Oscars were the most watch for 3 years and pulled in an audience of 40.3 million. However is this relative "modernisation" at the cost of women of all ages? Whilst there was a distinct focus on the younger generation this year, it would appear this was to the detriment of the female constituents of the film industry. Not only did women fail to gain substantial recognition in the honours but they were relentlessly the butt of MacFarlane's jokes (with varied success). Interestingly, perhaps the best reaction the host received was from Best Actress Winner, Jennifer Lawrence who celebrated her mention as an actress who hadn't revealed her body. But this only serves to highlight the negative representation of women asserted by MacFarlane. 

We may boo and hiss but MacFarlane is no amateur, in his performance he was acutely aware of his own brashness and its effect on the gathered glitterati. However, as Tim Robey of the Telegraph pointed out, "The problem is, MacFarlane's mere awareness of his obvious horribleness as a presenter was no inoculation against it." Did we learn nothing from Ricky Gervais' obnoxious Golden Globe run? Apparently not. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler struck gold as hosts of the Golden Globes this year without a cheap shot in sight, balancing satire and controversy seemlessly. Performances like theirs are worth revisiting to remind ourselves that those like Macfarlane's are unnecessary, outdated and ultimately unsuccessful.

This whole debate reminded me of a recent episode of The Graham Norton Show in which Shame actor Michael Fassbender was teased by Graham and the other male and female guests for the excessive exposure of his own endowment in the film. Does this demonstrate the hypocrisy inhernet to this kind of issue, the double standards that are at work in the film and television industry? Unfortunatley there is a long way to go in negotiating equality even in the Arts and jokes in the vain of Seth MacFarlane's ultimately reaffirm the representation of the female body as a man's domaine- simulatenously celebrated, condemned and mocked. 

Charlize Theron's reaction to her mention in the song.

Jennifer Lawrence conserves her "dignity".

MacFarlane's Oscar Boob(s)

LOL they didn't see our boobs

AW13 (Already)

Over the last month I have been on various working vacations which involved unfortunate evenings spent in Travelodges, Premier and Holiday Inns, as well as an unwelcome diversion from my career path and a painful reminder of just why I must stick to it. During this vacation from my career and on the subject of it, I was described by a friend as "a part-time intern" - Haa! Part-time, freelance, free falling...whatever. I am no longer interning for powerhouse-super female-beau ideal-Fashion Editor at Large Melanie Rickey or anyone else for that matter. So as London Fashion Week approached I thought it high time for me to bust my own chops and get the low down for AW13. Today marks the end of lfw and after my baptism of fire into the SS13 shows, this time around I found myself very much on the periphery of the action, attuned to but only occasionally seduced by the tweets of the fashion frow. Over the last week the fashion pack have descended on Somerset House (this year via the Topshop show space at the Tate Modern) and as much as I enjoy my vicarious internet existence there ain't nothing like seeing it in the flesh so off I went to join the Somerset circus. But before braving Somerset House I was faced with my ongoing internal fashion conflict. I have a love-hate relationship with fashion, I tend to view it in binaries constructed in the bi-polar melting pot of my mind. For me fashion is both empowering and crippling, simultaneously an art form and trite, a rich part of culture but also superfluous. I enjoy fashion in the context of it shaping and reflecting society and culture and in the context of my own wardrobe to a point but there is a large portion of it (and people) that I would rather not connect with at all. That said battle face on. Here's the good, the bad and the ugly (naturally not mutually exclusive) from London Fashion Week...

+ London and New York set two very different tones for AW13 office wear:

At Somerset House BFC concierges got a Jonathan Saunders makeover...

(Image via @Topshop)

Whereas in New York less was more in the scorching Marc Jacobs office...

(Image from Style.com)

+ Cara Delevingne the most hard working model this season - a girls gotta eat..?  

(Image via Love Magazine) 

The latest silver-spooned Bedales export, "model of the year" Cara Delevingne is taking over the world. The Vogue cover girl has appeared in just about every show so far this fashion month and she isn't about to put the brakes on anytime soon. In between sporting the pioneering model cam at the Topshop Unique show (because we all need to see the show through her eyes obviously), partying with Rihanna and dating Jake Bugg, the 20 year old also has her sights set on a move into acting. There will be no hiding from Cara Delevingne in 2013. The "kooky" self described "professional human being" (vom) made her acting debut in the 2012 adaptation of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina and is anything but shy in front of a film crew. The evidence speaks for itself. . .

+ GOOGLE PLUS

Fashion is set to change forever and enter a new entirely interactive age. We are now able to live-stream around 70% of shows from the comfort of our own laptops and without a moments anguish about   the trends we may or may not be working underneath the duvet. Last season Topshop Unique transformed the way we watched fashion shows and this time around Google has played an unprecedented role in fashion week. The creatives at Google teamed up with Topshop Unique to create a home for all the amazing internet possibilities of fashion week to be curated in one place. Google Plus is the social media strain of the company and resembles a combination of all the leading social media sites. This lfw you were able to follow your favourite models (Cara obviously), collect your favourite visuals, "be the buyer", follow model cam down the catwalk and much more. On Friday afternoon Melanie Rickey hosted a global Google Plus Hangout at Topshop HQ allowing the international fashion community to be at the centre of the action in London and demonstrating the way the internet can be positively involved in the evolution of the fashion industry. Great for those whose show tickets were tragically "lost in the post", gaaah the Royal Mail.

+ Fashion Vs. Celebrity

There was a strict divide in the fashion community on Saturday night those seduced my saucetress Rhianna and those more interested in emerging fashion talent Thomas Tait. It seems the fashion crowd might have seen it all before (on instagram) Rhi Rhi as the media furore caused by the singer's collection for River Island only fuelled more celebration of designer Thomas Tait's collection and her show to be dismissed as a great PR stunt. The young designer's collection was described as by The Cut as, "funky aerobic wear fit for your next trip to Lucille Roberts."

(Thomas Tait AW13)

...Another music star, A$AP ROCKY had some equally great insight into nyfw to contribute...
.httpvine.co/v/brBOnb6bmQJ 
(Vine was also everyone's favourite new video app this season)

+ TRENDS FOR AW13: 
Era: The 90s revival is here to stay but AW13 is all about the 90s for now. As street style becomes evermore prominant and a real part of fashion month the lines between designer and street wear are now entirely blurred and bad news there's DOUBLE DENIM. The Save the Last Dance vibe is now creeping it's way on to front rows with fashed up beanies being sported by 40 something editors and buyers...

(The 90s for now at Unique. Images: The Cut)

Style: "CO-OR"

Christopher Raeburn, Eudon Choi, Zoe Jordan, House of Holland, Thomas Tait, Holly Fulton all featured fully co-ordinated, matchy matchy looks, playing with prints, textures and layering. 

(Zoe Jordan. Image: The Cut)

(House of Holland. Image: The Cut)

Print: CAMO

(Christopher Kane. Image: The Cut)

(Whistles. Image: DisneyRollerGirl)

(Marques' Alemeida. Image: Londonfashionweek.com)

Accessory: THE FASHION STOLE

(Topshop Unique. Image: The Cut)

(Lucas Nascimento. Image: FashionEditoratLarge)

(Christopher Kane. Image: The Cut)

+ MUSIC wise Burberry brought their boy Tom Odell back, this time he performed live with a choir at their show. There was also a live performance from Shystie at the Nasir Mazhar show but in terms of new talent insiders were buzzing about South-East London girl Rainy Milo...

 

+ And finally it's her AGAIN and it seems the Topshop pr team don't miss a trick and we won't be shaking off the 'Harlem Shake' anytime soon..

SAVE LEWISHAM HOSPITAL

Lewisham Hospital was this week described as 'the most irrational, irresponsible hospital to cut'. 

http://www.savelewishamhospital.com/

Back in the summer of 2010 when the newly formed Coalition Government didn't seem all that bad, I interned at the The Mirror under political editor Jason Beattie. This was my first foray into journalism, and in turn presented me with unprecedented access to the powers that be, the political circus of Westminster and on one particularly sunny afternoon the opportunity to attend an initial review of Andrew Lansely's White Paper. At the time I didn't take much notice to the then health secretary and his proposal for "reforming" the NHS. I didn't see any immediate correlation between the Government's plans for the NHS and, well me. (Although others had stronger objections to Lansely's White Paper and shared them rather more vocally... ) Two and half years later, the word "Coalition" is no longer thrown around like a buzz word, Andrew Lansely is no longer the health secretary and the Government's "liberation" of the NHS is seen incontrovertibly as unrelenting cut backs. Now headed up by health secretary Jeremy Hunt, the NHS is attempting to pay off tens of millions of pounds of debt with the closure and cutting back of hospitals nationwide. But it wasn't until the closure of the new A&E departments, Intensive Care, Maternity and and children's services at Lewisham Hospital was announced that the state of affairs really hit home.

I was born in Lewisham Hospital, my Mother endured 30+ hours of labor in the process and received excellent care throughout, my younger sister was subsequently (with my Mother's insistence and the hospital's blessing) naturally born there and most recently my Father's life was saved by the A&E Unit in Lewisham Hospital. Lewisham Hospital is a high performing hospital that has become a victim of its own success. The hospital is only facing these closures as the lower performing, poorly managed hospitals in the local area are involved in disastrous PFI contracts. Lewisham has consistently ranked in the top forty hospitals in the country and its safeguarding services have just been marked excellent by Ofsted. This is a high performing hospital situated in a Labour stronghold, its fate is now in the hands of Conservative Jeremy Hunt. 

There is a strong community campaign to save Lewisham Hospital and I urge you all to join it. If anything the proposed closure of this community hospital has reunited the community. There is not a residential street in the area in which a campaign poster is not on display. This week the campaign gained further public support from Nobel Peace Prize winner Archbishop Desmond Tutu as well as countless others.  However after the future of Lewisham A&E was debated in Parliament earlier this week, the despicable Nadine Dorries responded to the campaign on twitter, "@SAVELewishamNHS Demo when I was at QT totally dominated by the Socialist Workers Party who were aggressive and rude. March will be same". This is not the case, the local people of Lewisham only express anger as their voices have been ignored, the Government's plans concealed and a dialogue with Jeremy Hunt denied to them. The people campaigning to save the hospital come from Lewisham's vibrant and varied community, they are peaceful but passionate.

Jeremy Hunt's decision will be announced on 1 February. A final march is due to take place on Saturday 26th January (this Saturday). 

I urge you to sign the petition:

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/lewisham-hospital/

Like the Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/savelewishamhospitalnhs

Follow and support the campaign on Twitter:

http://www.savelewishamhospital.com/

A community united. 

"TAKING OFFENCE IS ALL THE RAGE"

Two weeks into navigating myself through the 'Abyss of 2013', and my new "YES" mentality has been serving me well. However it seems not everybody is feeling quite so positive. It would appear that "taking offence is all the rage", and nobody is about to do it quietly. Naturally you can always rely on the Daily Mail to be throwing some kind of hissy fit but last week the media was awash with offended individuals. From the on going critique of comedians (this time Jack Whitehall), the online witch hunt of Suzanne Moore and even the revelation of my own twitter faux pas. 

I recently discovered a woman I aspirationally covet had taken offence at something I had done, or rather tweeted. Said woman, who I will not risk offending further, had taken offence to and action against something I had uttered in complete jest and promptly wiped from my memory, (obviously not from hers). It was only when I went to look for her comment on something recently that it came to my attention that she had blocked me on twitter. WHOA. As it turns out I was discovering this nearly six months late but it still shocked me. Why had she taken such offence to my comment? Why did she even care? Why had she bothered to block me? Yes, my tweet to her was mildly offensive, which I was aware of but she had replied in jest too (at least I thought she had) - Would she have replied at all if it had been entirely unprovocative? I guess I am mostly disappointed because I though she was a sharp, funny and grounded woman who wouldn't indulge in the self-importance inherent to this kind of heightened sensitivity. It would appear that somewhere along the line she has lost her sense of humour somewhere up her own arse.

My personal twitter drama aside, Suzanne Moore caused her own furor last week after she republished an essay that seemed to offend and enrage just about everybody, (body being the sensitive issue). Ironically the ugly media storm caused by Suzanne Moore's article 'Seeing red: the power of female anger', in the New Statesman was about celebrating anger, but the anger she evoked was not quite what she had in mind. Moore's article raises some valid points and whilst we must all tread tentatively when it comes to issues of race, gender and sexuality her argument was completely highjacked by the offence virally adopted by a large part of the internet. Her mistake was clumsy and perhaps she should have just apologised immediately but her defiant response in the Guardian reminded me of the importance for those who do have the privilege to open up dialogue. You can't please everyone and who wants to? That's not interesting, or provocative or even productive. The way Moore was mercilessly hounded did not demonstrate the dispelling of her ignorance but more the way in which society finds it so much easier to unite through a negative cause, rather than engage in any kind of positive empowering unification. Commenting on the Moore witch hunt a (gay) friend tweeted, “It's a battle to see who can be the most offended...You both look good in heels! (Unless you think heels objectify you - then you don't)... This is a #minefield". Whilst I completely understand why people were offended by Moore's flippant reference to Brazilian transexuals, my friend's comment exemplifies the damage this kind of uproar can cause, ultimately we will shut down debate and exile people into silence. 

Here are some images to which you might want to take offence...

"Breading" my cat Jamal

Tiny breasts.

Lana Del Rey "modelling"

THE ABYSS OF 2013

Intellectual dreamboat Hadley Freeman declared one of the worst ideas of 2012 to be celebrities oversharing; "Memo to Kim Kardashian: no one wants to hear your thoughts on the Middle East."- Amen. Freeman makes a good point and perhaps people would rather not hear my opinions on the Middle East either but as an aspiring writer I can ill afford the mystique of silence. Kardashians and the Middle East aside, I will share some thoughts on lighter matters.

As the dust settles on this new year I've been struggling to think of what resolutions I should make, if any. Traditionally I avoid this annual flirtation with active self improvement but I appear to be at a point in my life where this kind of bull might be just what I need to kick me into gear. This year many people have opted for a "dry" January but I cannot understand why anyone would make their first foray into the new year more difficult for themselves...2013 already has a lot to live up to. 2012 was the year the Olympics came to London, we celebrated the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, the world DIDN'T end and it was momentarily not all that bad to be British. 2012 was a year in which things were always going to happen, years of hard work and millions of pounds spent reached fruition. And I similarly sought the fruits of my own personal labours. 2012 was the year I wrote my dissertations, graduated from university and turned 21- all deeply traumatising and manifesting in differing emotional outbursts. And despite the unpredictability of my reactions to these events I was safe in the knowledge that I too would achieve in 2012, wheels were in motion. Now the final weeks of 2012 have been and gone, I am somewhat suspended in the wake of these relative achievements - I find myself staring into the abyss of 2013...

2012:

Celebrating her Majesty's Diamond Jubilee.

The Olympics.

Thus far in my life I have been quietly pottering towards the ambitious career carved out for me by my 8 year old self and my feminist mother. I have worked through an endless chain of productive and necessary steps; a-levels, university, endless interning, but what now? I no longer have the comfort of this predetermined productivity. 2013 is feeling like a bit of a free fall, the morning after the great party of 2012. I have decided that I will not succumb the stultifying indeterminateness of 2013. Whilst the press continue to remind me that my future as a graduate is bleaker than ever and my parents are less than hopeful I am determined to make things happen for myself, quit procrastinating ("positive" or otherwise) and continue with this oversharing for the foreseeable future.

Happy New Year 

+ +

The hopeful graduate. 

Graduate life in 2013.